Is it really saturday?

It feels like the Twilight Zone, but that airs on friday. I still can't believe this is what's happening. There have been a few things that have made it more real (to me). First, I started a blog about it. Writing about Kristi really draws the details into focus. Second, she actually started chemo. If they are really doing it, there is no doubt they need to do it. Still, these things appeal to my intellectual side. There is another part that just doesn't believe it or isn't capable of accepting it. I was at the shoppe today and they had a magic 8-ball on the counter. I didn't even consider shaking it and asking the questions. I am too superstitious to allow a cheap piece of plastic any influence on my serene state of denial.

Kristi is outside doing laps by herself. She insisted, believe me. I can hardly stand leaving the room without her. In fact, I am starting to get anxious just thinking about it. She's a big girl though, and is totally capable of handling this on her own if she had to. It really does make a difference having support and people around. She's sooo social by nature. I can see little bits of panic in her every once in a while, but she holds it back. She has said numerous times that this situation is probably harder on everyone else. But we don't have gross tubes sticking out of our chests. I wish I had more insight on how to make the situation better for her. I just try to make her as comfortable as possible. Though, my efforts seem like second or third order effects compared to amenities of this wonderful facility. It really is great. Hasn't even smelled like a hospital at all since I have been here.

Davey is here hanging out. He had to calm me down a few times while Kristi was out doing laps. Well, now Kristi is back and looking a bit bored. Maybe I'll see if I can make myself useful.